Getting into a new relationship almost always feels like a good thing, but it’s not all plain sailing. In fact, there can be some downright awkward moments along the way that are so cringe-worthy you can barely think about them.
You forget how much you take for granted when you’re in a long-term relationship. Mostly, it doesn’t matter how your bodily functions operate – you’ve got your partner, and no amount of gas is going to scare them off. But when you’re in the throes of a new flame, you worry that even the mildest of trapped wind will scupper your chances of getting something deeper and more fulfilling. It seems unfair that you are beholden to the vagaries of your bowels, but that’s what it comes down to sometimes. That’s life. Get over it.
The odd fart on the first date isn’t the only awkward moment in a relationship you’d rather forget. There are other times too when you’ll find yourself scratching your head, wondering how it came to this.
When You Find Out They’re Married
Things are going well. You’ve been texting somebody on a dating app for a few weeks, and you’ve been on a couple of dates, and you really like them. Everything seems to be going well until you hear the words, “there’s something I need to tell you.”
That’s definitely an “oh sh**” moment if there ever was one.
Then they break the news to you that they’re married and you suddenly realize that you’re the affair, not the main course.
Now, granted, there are some excellent reasons why a married person might choose to date you, but they’re few and far between. Sometimes, you’ve found a rare gem with a wonderful excuse for why they’re with you and not their spouse. But mostly, it’s bad news. Beware the relationship borne of infidelity!
When They Tell You About Their Bedroom Preferences
What goes on in the bedroom is entirely between you and your partner. But regardless, it’s always an awkward moment when you have to reveal the contents of your desires.
Sleeping with somebody isn’t merely a matter of consulting the Durex condom size chart and then routinely going about your business. It’s a moment when everything is laid bare – literally – and you have no choice other than to be honest about what type of person you are. If you’re the sort of person who likes feet, then there will come a time when that fact will come out, whether you want it to or not.
The problem with bedroom preferences is you never know what your partner is going to say. Part of them might be intrigued, but a side of them might also be horrified.
When You Find Out You Have Different Values
Ideally, you want to find a partner whose values primarily chime with your own. You don’t have to agree on every minor point of political policy. Still, you generally want to have a similar world view. It makes sense for conservatives to hook up with conservatives and liberals with liberals. Relationships that span the ideological divide can be awkward.
When you are a conservative at heart, and you hear your partner talking about the joys of state intervention in the economy, it can be a little grating. Likewise, if you’re on the liberal end of the spectrum and your partner says something controversial about the LGBT community, it can leave you feeling frazzled.
Value clashes are a part of any relationship. All our parents brought us up differently, and so we each have a unique take of what is right and what isn’t. But you don’t want to find yourself in a relationship where you don’t share any ethics with your partner at all. Again, that’s no fun!
When You Suddenly Get An Unexplained Feeling Of Doubt
The first few months of a relationship feel like a beautiful whirlwind of excitement and emotion. You’re on a biochemical high, desperate to see your partner for the next encounter. It’s a joyful experience.
Then, inevitably, those early feelings subside, and you slowly see your partner for what they are – a regular person with flaws and hangups.
This point is crucial in a relationship. It’s where you have to decide whether it is intrinsically worth it to keep going or if you should pack it in. You don’t have the motivation of your emotions anymore – you just have to make a decision based on whether you’re genuinely attached to the person or not.
Feelings of doubt are perfectly normal in a romantic relationship. You worry whether the person you’ve found is the right one for you or whether there is somebody better out there who would suit you more. Often, you really don’t know.
Relationship coaches will often advise people to find someone who is “good enough.” Sure, they have flaws, but they’re tolerable. What’s more, everyone has issues, so while the grass might look greener on the other side of the fence, it rarely is.
When You Find Out That It’s Not “Official” For Them
The dating game is notoriously delicate. Do you go in for the kiss? Do you pull back? Do you text straight after? Do you wait? It feels like you’re playing some bizarre game of 3D chess. But eventually, though, you have to make a decision and go for it – and that can be one of the most challenging parts.
The question of whether your relationship is “official” can be super awkward. You might be swanning around, thinking that things are ready to go public, but the person you’re dating might have their doubts. They might not want to “come out” to friends and family just yet. They’re biding their time.
Getting into a relationship is never as straightforward as depicted in the media. There are all kinds of bizarre moments along the way. But those don’t need to be scary. In fact, they’re what help to keep the relationship exciting and moving forwards. You want to create a bit of drama. That’s how you get people hooked.