Over 17 million people in the UK are single, with the biggest proportion of these living in cities such as London and Manchester. Single life can be fun and exciting but there is definitely a biased attitude to those without a partner.
Every day we’re bombarded with imagery and advertisements selling us the idea that happiness can only come in romantic form. It is normal to refer to your romantic partner as your ‘other half’. As if you were not whole before they came along?
We at PlusMinus believe relationships are great but they should be a side event in your life story, not the main plot. Like a statement necklace you add to an outfit, it enhances it, but the look still worked fine on its own.
Coupled friends with the best intentions almost see singletons as a danger to the status quo, trying to solve us with sympathy and set ups. If you’ve got a single friend, the best thing you can do for them is to avoid saying these things.
If you’re single yourself, I know you’ll relate.
12 questions singletons are tired of hearing
1. Why are you single?
I am always confused why anyone thinks I would know the answer to this. Extra points for the ones who offer answers picking on your flaws.
2. You’ll find someone when you least expect it
I’m a romantic so this should give me comfort. But I’m also a control freak so it’s very infuriating.
Also what does it mean to expect? I don’t suppose most people walk around life expecting to meet someone when they have work, errands and friendships to maintain.
3. You won’t find someone until you love yourself
This is fairly solid advice but it also implies that all single people are insecure messes. Which obviously is not true.
4. Stop being so picky
No I won’t because being single is a millions time better than being in a bad relationship.
5. Have you tried dating apps?
What single 20-something has really not given these a go? Also Tinder is a cesspool of people looking for quick hook-ups not relationships.
6. What about *insert ex-boyfriend*? He was nice
So now I have to justify and relive a breakup?
7. What about so and so *insert only other singleton at work*?
Are we now basing romantic compatibility on things as loose as ‘he works in the same building, is single and is human?’
8. You must have so much free time
I have as much free time as a person with friends, family, work and exercise commitments. I also have to slot swiping and dating into the diary.
9. Can I have a look at your Tinder?
It’s not angry birds this is my life. But okay… just this once.
10. Don’t you get lonely?
Everyone does sometimes – even you! – but I have a wide support network. It’s just we don’t kiss each other.
11. What about sex?
Newsflash: you can still have sex when you’re single. It just may be more sporadic. Also as Haley Steinfeld says, sometimes you’ve got to ‘Love yourself’.
12. When was the last time you went on a date?
This is really a double-edged sword. If you say recently you are ‘dating too much and need to slow down’ but if it was months ago, you’re not ‘putting yourself out there’.
Have we missed any?